topbella

Monday, January 5, 2009

An Assortment of Small Blog Tales...

Content:

¤ “New Years Resolutions” ie. Quitting smoking, wanting a better diet
¤ Trying to overcome my Speed Addiction

“New Years Resolutions”:

Ok so I wouldn’t exactly call them “New Years Resolutions” per-say, but they are in fact things I want done, in the New Year.
The first one is quitting smoking! And 5 days in, I'm still succeeding haha…Mr.J on the other hand, is not…

Since we have decided to start trying for a baby this year we decided that it’d be nice to make sure we don’t have any unhealthy chemicals etc swimming around inside our bodies…so we thought our first step is to quit smoking.
I've wanted to for a while, for health benefits but never did because I really enjoy the occasional cigarette and not only that but I've smoked for the past ten years so a lot of my daily life revolves around a smoking habit…
Get in the car - light a smoke, finish a meal - light a smoke, talk on the phone - light a smoke, have an alcoholic beverage - light a smoke, mums not at work today - light a smoke, on your lunch break - light a couple of smokes.
A lot of emotions also dictate a good time for a smoke… Got the shits - light a smoke, feeling sad - light a smoke, stressed out - light a smoke…I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the picture.

Now whenever I find myself in any of these situations I'm unsure of what to do…Last night at work on my 15 minute break…I ended up buying extra junk food to eat knowing I’d have extra time to eat it as I wasn’t outside having my usual 2 cigarettes in 10 minutes!
I do know that I most certainly do NOT want to replace cigarettes with food. Only now that I've made that promise to myself, when I do want to eat something I don’t know if that’s because I genuinely feel like eating something or because I want a smoke…although I think I will be OK at figuring that out…see on weekdays I don’t smoke at work anyway so when I feel like eating then its probably because I'm bored and at night and on weekends I will just have to watch myself more. I know that at parties and social events where large quantities of alcohol are consumed, chances are I will have a few and become one of those ‘social smokers’ but then again maybe I wont…who knows?

With the money I would usually spend a week on cigarettes I am going to be putting it away in a savings hold and that can be my ‘rewards money’…Mr.J is meant to do the same with his but since he’s still smoking I cant see that happening…although perhaps I should get him to give me the money each time he goes out to buy a packet, then if he’s paying double each time it might help him quit…


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Trying To Overcome my Speed Addiction:

Yes it’s true…I have a speed addiction. I've been consumed by it for…probably about 3 years now…maybe more. But now that I'm another year older and my life is on a pathway to another stage of my life (ie trying to become a mummy) then I think it’s about time I kicked this habit. It’s about time I grow up and start acting like a responsible young-adult. It’s about time I slow down and stick to the fucking speed limit!

In all honesty I do not know if I can do this…I know that I fluff around when getting ready and I'm always late but I don’t speed because I'm worried about being late - personally I couldn’t give a shit, I'll get there when I get there…these days I'm usually only driving to work and no where important, but even when I'm not late…I still speed…I cant stand anyone who drives slower than me and then when I over take them I speed up some more and don’t slow down because it just feels good. I love the thrill of putting my foot down and just zooming up the street, music blaring, wind in my hair, 20 sometimes even 30 over.

But that’s not the worst part of the problem…when I'm in a calm ‘cruising’ mood and don’t actually want to speed…I'm still doing ten over…that’s my definition of ‘not speeding’!! If its 60 I'll be doing 70 but if its 70 I'll be doing 80 and I think nothing of it, I don’t try to do ten over, it just happens and when I try to slow down, it doesn’t last long, I'll start creeping up on some slow arse and end up at 10/20 over again.

I know speeding is dangerous and I know I'm putting myself and others in danger by doing so and I think that’s why Mr.J has decided I need to stop speeding. So I have decided that that can be all part of the ‘New Year Mummy Plan’ thing I've got going on…and I've been fairly good…this morning I only sped 5-10 over for the first, say, 5 minutes of my trip just down the main road and the ONLY reason I did so was because if you sit in the left lane where all the slow-arses are meant to be you constantly get stuck behind a million buses and I cant stand that, but if you stay in the right lane to avoid the buses, everyone else is speeding and I know that if I go slow and do the stupid speed limit (in this case 60) then I'm going to get road rage as I mouth off at the wanker who is sitting so close to the arse of my car that if I farted he’d probably smell it! So in a bid to avoid road rage, I had to speed a little. After that though I was good for the rest of the trip.

Still To Come:

¤ Trying to find a happy medium for work whilst pregnant
¤ My Two Week Christmas/New Years Holiday
¤ And Many More…

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