topbella

Sunday, April 17, 2011

True Love: Hard to find?

In this day and age of mixed families, increasing numbers of single parenting, young mothers and more and more babies being born out of wedlock (mine included), I wonder, are we slowly becoming a single society? And why?

A new generation of women are emerging and they're armed with independence, skills, power and a mind of their own! They're here to take on the world with an agenda of parties, travel, career and of course, the ever so special journey of true love and motherhood.

This new generation of men is made up of a wide array of metros, hetros, snags, gays, bi's etc but these guys seem to be on a different agenda. They want sex, money and power. All this comes from parties, travel and careers. While they perform these tasks with simple goals in mind, they tend not to look for love or want to be "tied down" with a wife and kids. They don't want to have to answer to anyone when they're in the prime of their lives.

But while the men are not looking for anything serious, the biological clock of these new age independent women keeps ticking and this is the time when they need to start considering potential husbands and fathers.

While I know this is a generalisation and that not all men are like this, it seems, from the single gal's point of view, that "all the good ones are taken".

I was lucky enough to have met someone and fall in love at a very young age and I was lucky that we both wanted the same things in the way of families and life. But what about those that don't want to be young parents? By the time they're ready to settle down, it's not always that easy and while the women have been preparing themselves for this next chapter of their lives, the men are not necessarily in the same stage yet, so while they may partake in relationships for a while, when things start to get too serious, the relationships don't necessarily evolve into much more, thus leaving the guy feeling satisfied at another 'notch on his belt', while the girl spends a considerable amount of her time crying over something that could have been, all the while knowing, that eventually, she is going to have to do this all over again.

With every relationship that doesn't work out the way she'd hoped, she not only loses the time she invested in the previous failed attempt at love, but she loses an extra ounce of hope.

As a single girl at almost 30, going through recent heartache yet again, she quotes, about the current status of the dating pool and potential life partners, "The pool is massive, but there's no one worth swimming with".

Will she find love again? When will she have her happy ever after?

 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Born to be a Mother

I was born to be a mother. All I have ever wanted was to have children. I wanted it so badly, that my own mother was expecting me to come home from school every day since I was like 13 and tell her I was pregnant (never happened lol)

When I pictured my life ahead, I never saw travelling, I never saw high paying careers, I never saw any of the stresses that came with that.
I saw nappies, and baby puke and bottles and smooshed food and clutter and chaos and cute smiles and loving adorable hugs and all that comes with being a mum.


My life (aside from our current financial woes) is pretty much exactly where I had pictured it to be - and I couldn't be happier.

Having said all that, I didn't have my rose coloured glasses on (even though my mum always thought I did). And I knew that having a baby was going to be hard.


However, I didn't know what kind of struggles I'd face, because every child is different and every one deals with stuff in different ways.


And even though I am exactly where I wanted to be and I did all that I possibly could to "prepare myself for this reality" there are still some days, some moments, where I sit and think "I would just like one hour to sit on my own and scratch my bum and stare at the clouds and be still".


I don't expect it though, but every now and then I do crave it. And I am the most maternal person I know - I'd have a hundred babies if it was possible and I was rich. Being a mother is my destiny. I know who I am more now, then before having babies and pretty much every day up until the moment I conceived Muffin, I had been waiting for my reality to begin.



This is who I am. This is who I've always been - even though I didn't have the babies to show for it.

This is me.


Love Mum
xXx
 

 
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