Thursday, August 11, 2011

Upcoming Surgery and what it means

I don’t really know where to start so there isn’t really any kind of beginning to this entry.

Although given the nature of the subject, it seems fairly fitting as the beginning was a long, long time ago....almost 25 years ago now, and it is just one continuous journey with all its ups and downs.

I’m talking of course, about my Poland Syndrome.

For a while now I have been requiring a fourth surgery.

Back in 2007, I wrote a rather raw and honest post about this and I needed more surgery back then. Four years later, I am finally going to be having that surgery.

I am booked in for mid November and will be having surgery at the hospital I was born at.

I am super duper excited about my pending surgery; I will be counting down the days!

However, with my surgery, I will need to stop breastfeeding Muffin.

Yesterday marked the beginning of the end of our breastfeeding journey. She is 19 months old.

I will be weaning her slowly. Mum has advised me that I should start with cutting out all day feeds and just stick to one in the morning and one at night. If ever she goes for the boob, just offer her a bottle of milk.

After a week or two, when she seems OK with it, I should drop the night feed. And then within another week or two, I should drop the morning feed.

She should be fully weaned within the next 2 months.

It was so heartbreaking yesterday afternoon. When she went for it, I offered her the bottle but she got angry and threw it away, trying to claw her way through my clothes. I held them tight and persisted with the bottle until she eventually threw a tantrum on the floor next to me. I felt horrible. I couldn’t even comfort her because she would just want to breastfeed and is too young to understand why something she’s always been able to have is now being taken away from her.

I go back to see my surgeon on the 18th October and then that should be it until the surgery date.

I can’t wait.

I can’t wait to be normal again.

Unfortunately, Mr.J has been unable to take annual leave from work so this will make it a much more challenging experience as Muffin will still need constant care and supervision and then of course when I am out of hospital, I will be as good as useless in terms of my physical strength.

Luckily though, our parents will band together and take it in turns to come and stay over to assist us with this so it won’t be too bad.

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