12-08-2011
Day two of weaning was pretty sad. She came up to me at one stage in the afternoon and in the clearest voice possible, actually asked me for "bewb" :(
I have been wanting her to ask for it since she first started learning words and she finally does it and I have to tell her "no". I was so proud of her and felt like a mean mummy all at once.
It was bittersweet.
So far today, day 3, she's been doing really well. Hasn't asked for it once, so depending on how she goes for the rest of the afternoon, I'm thinking about possibly making tonight her last night time breastfeed.
*later that day*
Well, it looks like I've spoken too soon. Just as I wrote that last sentence, she pulled me to our boobie lounge chair and climbed on my lap and tried to breastfeed.
Feeling so shattered :(
15-08-2011
So I didn't make Friday night our last night feed as her asking for it throughout the day proved she still wasn’t ready. Which is fine, it's still early days.
Saturday brought with it a new challenge… It occurred to me that I don't know how to get Muffin to sleep now that I'm not breastfeeding during the day. So around mid-morning, I gave her a bottle and took her for a walk in the pram in the hopes that she would sleep.
It took a while but she did eventually fall asleep. But not till almost 12noon. As a result, getting her to sleep that night took a little longer than it should.
Sunday she asked for it a few times again during the day. She also didn't have a sleep which made for a disastrous mothers group that afternoon, so we left early!
Due to her not having a day sleep, she was so exhausted that she fell asleep while drinking her bottle and she didn't breastfeed at all. I was rather saddened by this as I had been feeling so stressed out by her public outburst that I had really been looking forward to that night time feed as a way to comfort us both.
Today is Monday - day 6.
Had our morning feed and snuggles in bed this morning before work and I didn't want it to end. But I had to go to work so of course it ended.
Once I was home from work this arvo, she only asked for boob twice which is less than the last few days. She is also getting better at the rejection of the boob and is happy and excited when I offer her a bottle of milk instead. That certainly makes it easier and I think and hope that it means she is slowly learning that this is what happens now and we are slowly saying bye bye boobie.
Tonight while I was putting her to sleep, she was falling asleep while drinking her milk, which is great. It's what she almost always does, although pre-weaning, no matter how "asleep" she is during her bottle, when she's finished, she always rolls over and goes for the boob.
Tonight though, part of me was worried that she wouldn't want to go for the boob. I started thinking that maybe Saturday night would prove to be her last night feed after all. Given that she was too tired for boob last night and the fact that she seems to be accepting that she gets a bottle instead of boobie during the day, I thought, maybe she might have started to associate her night time bottle with the same prospect.
But then as she finished the last few mouthfuls of milk so turned her head and went for the boob. I was so happy.
However, shortly after thinking about how happy I was, she stopped and just lay in my arms asleep. She breastfed for about 20 seconds all up.
I guess given that the end result is for her to be weaned then it is a good thing, but I still can't help feel sad about the fact that one day, very soon, we will no longer be breastfeeding.
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