Thursday, October 4, 2007

Update on...THE PLAGUE

Well yesterday they were still on the attack in "The Battlefield" (formerly known as 'Reception') but I thought to myself "Self, don't be ridiculous! They're only moths! They can't hurt you and they will probably be gone by now" Well as you can imagine – I was wrong – AGAIN! But anyway I thought I should brave it and try and spend the day at my desk in "The Battlefield"…so I got down there, put my things on the desk, picked up the peabeau, picked up the mortein, and thank Cadbury I did – they must of heard me come in, cuz they came at me again at full force. I tried my hardest to spray at them but I was just getting too damned scared, I could no longer take it any more – especially after one nearly flew up my pants!!! I burst into tears and said they'd have to fire me if they were gunna force me to sit there!!! Mum gave me a big cuddle and agreed to swap desks with me for the day. I felt so safe in the vicinity of her office that I didn't leave it until about 2:30pm!! Now as you know I have a weak bladder and usually go to the toilet at least 10 times before 2pm but because my coffee mug was still at my desk from Tuesday (the first day of the battle) I was too scared to go get it so I hadn't had coffee for two days and I think it was starting to show-I was so lethargic yesterday (I even set our dinner table on fire - whoops)!

Anyway, so I had to leave mums office to go down to "The Battlefield" to retrieve the laminator…I got about 3 steps down when I broke out into a sweat I was absolutely terrified to my very core. Anyway I survived – only one flew at me before I bolted back up to the sanctuary that is mums office.

Now in all seriousness, I know it is a completely irrational fear. I know that they cannot hurt me, I know that I am like 17 times bigger then them – maybe even more, but when I'm down there, or near them and they are hiding and fluttering around and creeping up from behind me yelling rude words in my ear as they chase me around my desk I just cannot control my fear. I break out into a sweat and I burst into tears – it really is the worst feeling in the world and it makes me feel like a mental case.

I was worried for a while as I felt that this could be something that keeps me house bound – too afraid to venture out into the unknown (formerly known as 'outdoors') but as I was discussing this with mum she did inform me that this is in fact a plague, not sent down by God in his wrath of fury against me – much to my predictions, but that they will die off in a few days and life will go back to normal. Of course there will be normal moths flying around here and there but they're not too bad…they just sit in one place and don't torment me and they die straight away when you spray them – unlike these bogons that are still flying around after you've drowned them in a quarter of a can…(don't ask me how I know that…)

So anyway this morning, I get to work, go to eat my breakfast in mums office like I do every day, I open the door and there's one flying around in there. Oh man! Anyway it must have flown out cuz it was gone after a while – don't worry I did a thorough search. I decided to stay in mums office again for today – just to be on the safe side, and thank Cadbury I did! It turns out that mum was attacked by THREE today…One flew at her head from the side (getting her while she wasn't looking) and pushed her off her chair (honest to God that happened), another flew behind the computer monitor and then burst out and up into her face when she was trying to find it and another flew up her pants leg!!!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine if I had decided to sit in "The Battlefield" today and that happened to me? I would've been naked – or at least stripped to my lingerie in like 5 seconds and I would've screamed soooo loud that everyone would've thought it was the fire alarm going off!!! Holy cow!

I tell ya, they're sneaky bastards – conniving and tricky!!! We'll have to do another thorough search on Monday before I decide to sit anywhere….who knows what could happen…

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