The Juju Incident

Ahh the Juju….Still convinced it is one of this century’s greatest inventions. To date I have converted two friends to the Juju life and I think they love it as much as I do.

> See The First Installment Here <

But let’s be real…like everything in life, even the greatest of things are not without their humorous woes of unfortunate occurrences…so let me retell “the incident”. Following are actual messages I sent to a handful of my closest girlfriends during “the incident” It was a Saturday and I was working at a public venue:

Omg omg omg this can't be happening. I'm at the venue. I have my period. I always use the disabled toilet down here because 1) I know there are no disabled people currently at this venue and our area is closed to the public and 2) I don't like people hearing me pee. Plus I like the space and privacy of having a bathroom to use.

I've just gone to pee and the toilet is locked. Not in use. Just not yet unlocked by the venue... Shit. I head off to the shared bathroom and discover my juju has leaked.

I now NEED a private bathroom to rinse it and readjust. I walk around till I find one upstairs. I feel bad using it as this is the public area and there could well be a disabled person who needs it. But I NEED it, so I go in.

Juju is in a really weird place. Hard to reach. Hard to grasp. In an effort to try and get a good grip, I grab the tail with my nails and I am just about to insert a finger from my other hand to pop it out but I squeezed too tight or dug in too much with my nails and it broke off. And I can't get it out...... So now I'm just sitting here in the disabled toilet trying to calm down in the hopes that I can magically get it out without the tail end......for Fuck Sake!!!

Later that moment:
ok update... In sitting there typing all that out, I've managed to calm down enough and it has in fact miraculously moved into a better place for removal.

So I take it out but the sink is sort of faraway...too far to scurry to with my pants around my ankles, it is a public bathroom after all. So I lean over to hitch my pants up half way but in doing so, I accidentally tipped the cup and poured blood all over the floor!! Whoops.

I scuttle over to the sink with my pants halfway up my legs and wash out my juju, scuttle back to the toilet and re-insert it, fix my clothes and then clean the floor and thoroughly wash my hands.

But now because the soft, round tip is broken off, I can feel the tail ....

Thankfully, a few months back when I converted a friend to the Juju Life, when she ordered hers, I just willy nilly ordered a second one. You get free postage for a certain amount so I thought, why the hell not. And thank god I did because I was able to throw that Juju out and start using the new one…I will not be taking extra care to try not to pinch the tail too tight with my nails.

Even after this ordeal….I still claim the Juju way is the ONLY way.

 

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Single Mum

You ask me why I'm single? How I'm single? You say I'm such a strong woman, I'm so pretty, I'm clever and funny... how am I alone?

I'll tell you why..... I'll tell you how.. because I am not alone. I am in the most beautiful relationship with the love of my life. My daughter.

I get kisses on the forehead. I am the most important person in the world to someone. I am the one they confide in. They hold my hand in public. We laugh together. We have movie dates. We have coffee dates and go out to dinner together and we fall asleep in each others arms.

 

Why would I make her sleep in her own bed so I could let someone else in? I live with the love of my life and one day she will grow up and move out and maybe then I'll take you up on the offer of going to dinner with your best friends, younger brother's, bosses, best mate.

 

Till then this is why I'm single.

 But I'm not alone.

*Disclaimer: Not my own piece of writing, came across it on the world wide web...but definitely true to my current lifestyle with my "Mini-Me" Muffin*

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Five Weeks - The End of Mourning. The Beginning of my Freedom

I've been doing some very serious thinking.

I had another bad dream about The Brazilian last night. Basically replaying the breakup and the heartache all over again in my dreams, stealing my sleep and disturbing my mind. But it got me thinking about it all and what went wrong.

It is all so clear to me now.

The way he parades himself to all those other women, is the same as he did when he and I first met. I know this because I read the messages he sent to some of them.

He is portraying himself as a sexy, fit, athletic 30-something divorced father of two, victim to a cruel ex wife, highly educated, successful and rich businessman being CIO and partner of an awesome business in Brazil.

It occurred to me that he is suffering his own insecurity and lack of self worth. He finds his "confidence" in his arrogance by masquerading himself as the aforementioned man.

Who he really is, is a middle aged man, gaining weight from sheer lack of motivation and a healthy diet, divorced by the woman who paid his way for the last four years, highly educated but with degree's and certifications that are currently absolutely useless to him, and the occasional email about a business idea, pipe dream, from some guy he used to know in Brazil.

He is suffering from all of these as failures.

And when his true identity became clear to me, I still loved him in spite of all of those "failures". Because I didn't see him as a man with many failures but more as a man going through a rough patch with great potential to become someone better. I loved him unconditionally.
I was not after his money, his knowledge, his anything. But it was this unconditional love that was the problem.
Well, if we're being honest, his egotistical arrogance was the problem, but it was this unconditional love that was the downfall.

I saw past the rich, educated, successful sexy man he wanted to be and so he sought that attention from all his whores who believed him, who didn't know the ugly truths behind his beautiful mask.

He wanted to be admired. He wanted to be feared. He wanted to be seen as someone else. Someone more successful than he. And even though I loved him beyond all of that, and saw the potential in him, his strong desire to be seen and wanted as this fake man blindsided him to what was right there in front of him. Blind sided him to the love and attention and affection that this "lesser man" was being given.
Unconditionally.

Our relationship was doomed to fail the minute I fell in love with who he really was and who I thought he could be.

I thought the hardship would humble him and give him strength to be even better than the fake man he wanted to be but his arrogance as that fake man was too strong. No amount of genuine love from me to him was going to cut through that façade.

I see that now.

And it's actually quite sad. I almost feel sorry for him.

Having understood all of the above and seeing the situation for what it is, I realise it was never me or anything I did. It's a battle he is obviously fighting with himself. Hopefully one day he will drop the façade, stop trying to be someone he's not and take the steps needed to become the man I thought he could become.
Strong and confident without arrogance.
Successful yet humble.

For all of this...I forgive him.

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Four Weeks, One Month

It has been four weeks since I saved myself.
I will never be able to understand how someone can be so cruel behind their "I Love You"'s, so dishonest in every way.
I guess it doesn't matter now.
I am actually glad it's over. 
I'm free.

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Three Weeks

It has been three weeks since you broke my heart. 
I hate you for what you did to me. But sooner or later I know I need to let go of that hate. Because holding onto that hate is just another form/disguise/way of holding onto you. 
I don’t need to hold onto you in any way, as if holding onto something about you is some form of life raft, a safety net…
You are the one I needed saving from and letting go completely is my life raft, my safety net.
I'm not ready to forgive you yet...but the anger is slowly fading and I am seeing things more clearly now.
It has been three weeks since I saved myself

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Two Weeks

It has been two weeks since you broke my heart. 
Yes, it is still broken. 
I have shed but a few small tears for you, though you don't deserve them. 
My sadness is still strong, my anger insurmountable.
You have now begun to haunt my dreams, stealing my sleep. 
Still, somehow I am stronger.
Somehow I know I'll survive. 
It has been two weeks since I saved myself.

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One Week

It has been one week since you broke my heart. 
I am not sure if it will ever mend itself. 
I am sad for what I thought we were. But I have not shed a tear for you. Not since I walked out that door. 
I am still mad. I will be for a while yet. 
But I've grown a confidence I never knew I had. I've developed a strength I might never have known was inside me had you not broken my heart. 
It has been one week since I saved myself

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Why does sex become a chore?

Why does sex become a chore in long term relationships?

I get it, life gets in the way, there is housework and work-work and parenthood and we're tired and need rest. But all those things exist in the beginning too...

Kids may not exist in the beginning for all couples and so that adjustment and change in lifestyle can play a big part in it.

But life, in all its aspects, is ALWAYS happening....You still have to do all those things at the start of a relationship when the sex drive is high. So why do these things suddenly become the reason the sex drive lacks?

Lack of sex in a relationship causes so many problems, fights, hurt for many couples. Usually the most common case is the woman is tired and the man is horny. You hear stories of how the woman is upset because the man does nothing around the house/with the kids, both have to work, but the woman works and does the parenting and the housework and is therefore tired at the end of the day while the husband has worked, come home, rested, played with the kids in the house that the wife tidied, eaten a meal that his wife cooked, and chilled out watching tv and probably fantasising about sex while his wife cleaned the kitchen.
The minute the wife stops, the husband wants sex. She doesn't. A fight erupts. Or not a fight but guilt-inducing mean comments and sulking from the husband and hurtful, unwarranted "guilt" for the wife.

It's easy as a woman to say "well if he did more around the house then I would want it more" and its easy for a man to say "I wish she would make time for me". It's easy to place blame on each other.

However, I don't think it is a case of "blame"...or rather, I don't think it should be a blame game at all. I think the problem and the solution lie with both parties.

I think regardless of gender or job, the housework and parental duties should be shared by both partners. You both have to work; you both have to raise the kids, so you BOTH have to do housework and cooking.
Men - Don't do it because you think you'll score brownie points for sex. Women - Don't do it to use as a weapon against him "well I'm too tired to have sex because I did all the housework today".
Do it because it needs to be done and its one less thing your other half has to do that day so you can both enjoy some down time together.

On the other side of the spectrum, I think you have to find a way to keep the sex drive healthy. I think it is important. Of course sex isn't the be-all and end-all of a relationship but it is obviously a very important part and it is something that is a high priority in the early stages of relationships.

I was in a long term relationship for 9 years and the sex drive for me definitely deteriorated in the last few years after having a baby...but it wasn't the baby that caused it. To put it plainly and simply, I had fallen out of love with my fiancé and no longer wanted to have sex with him.
Of course at the time, I didn't know that...in fact it took me the best part of our last 2 years to realise this and admit it to myself and I am sure somewhere along the way, he fell out of love with me also.

But after separating, if I received any attention from others in a flirty nature, it invoked that sexual urge I once had. It wasn't that I had lost my sex drive and life got in the way and I just was too tired to have sex with my fiancé, it was because I didn't WANT to have sex with HIM....I wanted sex...just not with him.
This is probably true for a lot of couples that have been together for what feels like forever and are stuck in the mundane, boring routine of what they think is "life", and so excuses such as housework and lethargy are thrown around for not wanting sex when there is probably a deeper, underlying issue.

I'm not saying this is true for everyone - everybody has a different sex drive to everybody else and some people do have little - no sex drive. But I am not talking about those people...I am talking about the people who do have a normal sex drive but have lost it over time...it is probably simply misplaced.

In the early stages of a relationship, you can't get enough of each other and you make time to have sex. You choose to put other lifestyle priorities on hold, just to have sex.

*We were going to go out for lunch but stayed home and had sex on the lounge room floor instead so we ordered take out and watched a movie after a long, hot shower together to clean up
*I need to leave by 8am to be at work on time...Oops we had an early morning quickie and I was half an hour late, oh well
*I'm soooo tired after a long day of working and living, I can't wait to flop into bed and fall asleep....but I just want to run my hands all over my partners body and see where it leads...yep we had sex and fell asleep at midnight and now I'll be tired for work tomorrow....totallyworthit!!
*Can't wait to rip off my bra and put my PJ's on when I get home, but oh my ass looks good in this G-string so I'll send a sexy snap to my lover to have something to think about when I see him next

Sound familiar? These are just a few tiny examples of times we've CHOSEN to put life on hold to have sex with our partner....WHY do we let LIFE suddenly become the priority?

*no not tonight honey, I'm soooo tired
*no, put your pants back on we're going to be LATE!
*I have to get up early for work tomorrow ok so just go jerk off in the shower or something and let me sleep

No, no, no!!

If you want to keep the sex drive high, you have to keep making it a priority. You have to keep making time for your partner and more importantly FOR YOURSELF to have this intimate sexy time. The more you have, the more you'll want. It's scientific fact. Its about finding the right balance of work, life, love. Keep sending your partner sexy lingerie selfies if you know he loves it. Help each other with the housework and the chores and the kids. Keep your own sexual enjoyment high by continuing to make it a priority during the entirety of your relationship.

If the sex drive has completely gone for your other half, find out why...it may not just simply be because life got in the way and you're too tired...

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The Juju Explained

So...I decided to buy a Juju.

For anyone not familiar with that...a Juju is a brand of menstrual cup.

I first heard of these a few years ago and I liked the sound of them then, however, I don't think they were as easily accessible with most online orders coming from the UK, to the best of my research.

These days, they are much more common and I have had it in the back of my mind for years now, in fact, every single month when mother nature reminds me I am woman, hear me roar....in period pain!!

When they were recently discussed on the radio during work one morning, it sparked a conversation with my fellow female colleagues in the office...Myself and one other were quite keen on the idea, we did some research, Juju, Diva, Mooncup etc, and the Juju seemed the nicest option, and as an added bonus, free shipping on orders over $100.

So we placed a joint order and a few weeks later our Juju's arrived. It was much smaller than I imagined, fits nicely in the palm of my hand and is made of a solid, sturdy silicone.

I had to wait a few more weeks before I could put it to the test, but last night, for the first time ever probably, I was actually excited when I discovered my period had arrived...Excited and in pain and craving spoonfuls of nutella, but excited nonetheless.

It was pretty straight forward to use, wash hands, fold Juju in half to make a C and insert, much the same as you would a tampon. Release the C fold so it pops open and forms a seal...give it a little wiggle so it slides into place and Bob's your uncle. Easy.

Then I read the removal instructions...and panicked a little bit "don't try to remove by pulling the tag as that will increase the suction"....*insert mental picture of giving myself an accidental hysterectomy in a few hours* Ok...that sounds scary....but I'm sure it's not...It will be fine....


Wearing it I felt like I could "feel" my period....not in a gross way like when you wear a pad and it feels like you've got a little swamp situation happening, but actually in my uterus, it felt more fluid and light as opposed to that heavy bloated feeling when you use a tampon. It was as though I was much more in-tune with my body and what it was doing and it was more free.

No leaking this morning when I woke up, which is great, as many tampons will start to leak after 2-3 hours for some women.

I jumped in the shower this morning, did what I had to do then prepared myself for the removal. Taking a deep breath in, I decided to opt for the crouch position...guided my fingers to the area and hoped for the best.


It took me nearly 10 minutes to get it out.


I tried to remain as calm as I could while instinctively trying not to perform the aforementioned hysterectomy.

The instructions said to squeeze the base with your thumb and forefinger to release the suction...Well - I don't know about other women, but I can't fit my thumb and forefinger in there...especially with a little silicone intruder already making itself at home in there.

So trying to grab the little tail with one hand from the outside and trying to use one finger on the other hand to push into the base/sides in the hopes to release the suction proved fairly challenging. As mentioned, it took up to 10 minutes to coordinate and choreograph my fingers to work as a team in order to obtain the desired outcome, which was complete removal of the Juju, all the while reminding myself "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out" After all, the instructions say it's easier to remove if you're not tense - though it's hard not to be tense when visions of an exploded uterus are popping up in your mind.


All horror and panic aside, I got there in the end with little war wounds and it popped out with gusto and thankfully wasn't full so I didn't get covered in "stuff", like everyone seems to imagine will happen. I definitely do not recommend trying this with long, sharp fingernails...not unless you want to cause additional bleeding to your lady parts.

Once removed, I washed it, washed myself, popped it back in and along I went, keeping my fingers crossed that I'd have an easier removal tonight...

Well towards the end of the day today, my first day wearing my Juju, I started to feel like maybe I should change so when I got home from work, I washed my hands and prepared to attempt a non-shower removal.


As imagined, it was still a little tricky like it was this morning but I discovered, if you grab one square of toilet paper, use that with one hand to hold the tail, it gives better grip, enabling you to keep a firmer hold on it while using a finger of your other hand to indent the cup and release the suction. The added grip offered a little more security in ensuring I didn't accidentally drop it in the toilet bowl! If that happened, I'd have to throw it out!!


Surprisingly, it wasn't full and overflowing with yucky fluids. There was some but not as much as you would imagine.
Another positive observation to add, when removed, the outside is dry and clean so no worries about having to touch any of the yucky stuff!


Washed it out with some warm soapy water, folded it into a C ready for reinsertion and the slippery little bugger flipped back, splashing what I hope was just clean water droplets on my face !! Gross.


All in all I am very happy with my Juju and so glad I made the switch. Absolutely no leakage all day, all night, no uncomfortable feelings, no being caught unawares with no tampons on hand and having to awkwardly ask a co-worker to "borrow" one (not that we ever gave them back, and for good reason!), none of the usual period-angst we suffer for 5-7 days every month!! And at a rough estimate, it will save approximately $130-$150 a year on sanitary products  Definitely recommend everyone get one!!

Here's to the Juju

> Click here to read an update and one hilarious Juju Incident <

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Chalkboard Flower Pot Gifts

It was two weeks before the end of the year, Christmas is looming, as is my daughter's last day of daycare before big school begins next year.  (moment to freak out over that!)

Last year, my mum and I made these gorgeous cookie jars for the teachers and they were just fantastic.

(I might blog that “recipe” soon to link here)

 

So naturally, I couldn't finish up daycare with just any old gift...so I started to Google and discovered this really cute idea. Pot plants, with chalkboard paint. Super excited with the idea, Muffin and I made our way to Bunnings for supplies. 

Making our way to the nursery area, I was pleased to find some beautiful, yet colourful flowers that would be perfect for this gift for only $7 a pot. 

Rounding the corner, I found just the right size terracotta pots for only $1.49 each!! Sweet. 

The paint section however, was not so easy.

According to the paint specialists at Bunnings, you can't just paint on terracotta ...I'm not sure I believe them but whatever. 
As a result of this new found information (not that my memory bank was very full with painting or terracotta info in general...), I also had to buy this pot sealer spray stuff as well as the paints. Which is blue. And leaked all over my passenger seat on the drive home! *facepalm*

Reading the instructions once home, it said to spray two coats, leaving 4 hours between coats, then leave to dry properly for 48 hours!!  There goes my idea of painting all day. Although in hindsight, I see that this was not a 1 day job!

Anyway, I did as instructed and then a few days later, I was ready to paint them.  

I started with the rims first but then had no idea what to do next or how to paint the black part without touching the already painted bits. 

Needless to say, I figured out a solution by using an old plastic cup for assistance. 

 

With my first coat done, I then had to wait another 16 hours before I could apply the second coat. 

The yellow didn’t look quite as yellow as I'd hoped it would be but knew that should change once dry after the second coat.

So day two of my crafty gift making expedition saw the pots were dry and ready for their second coat of paint. 

Now in all my wisdom whilst at Bunnings on the weekend, I just assumed my dad would have turps in his garage for cleaning my brushes. So when I text him and asked "where can I find turps?"
You can just imagine my delight when he replied  "Bunnings". Thanks dad.  *facepalm*

Suffice to say - I just went to woolies and bought another 2 paint brushes...

The woolies ones were not quite as good as the Bunnings ones. If you're going to do this, I recommend stocking up on your paint brush supply in the first instance...or at the very least, buy turps! 

Awesome Bunnings Brushes!

                                           
                                       

                  Shit Brushes from Woolies

Anyway, as a result of these poor quality paint brushes, they made teeny, tiny little air bubbles as the paint was being applied. I was hoping it wouldn't be too much of a big deal for the finished product.
It doesn’t seem to have been an issue.

I also spontaneously decided to paint the inside rim of the pots. 2 coats, one after the other. Wet paint on wet paint.

It looked a bit messy at the time but I figured, once the flowers are in, it will add a radiant glow to them (or something to that effect).

Off to dry for another 16 hours....

Two days passed and the time to start drawing the ruler effect was nigh.

I was nervous about this part, I have terrible handwriting and even contemplated hosting “handwriting auditions” and paying someone to do it for me, but I bit the bullet and did it anyway and I think it’s turned out alright. 

To get the measurement right, I taped my tape measure around the rim as a guide to keep it fairly even. 

The tricky part was writing the message – it was harder with chalk than using a pen but I guess it doesn't have to be perfect. 

This afternoon, Muffin and I made the short trip back to Bunnings for the last of the supplies – the flowers.

Muffin chose 3 different colours, stating which teacher liked which colour. Drove them safely home (they tipped once during a round-a-bout...whoops). Muffin signed her name on the back with love, in multi-coloured chalk, while I watered the plants in preparation for the transfer.

To say I have a green thumb would be an absolute, total, untruth. I’m about as handy in a garden as a gnome...And even then, the garden gnome would have the upper hand!

Swiftly and smoothly, I easily managed the plants free, one by one, plopping them (quite literally) into their new homes.We found some cute “Hand Made With Love” Christmas gift tags at the store for Muffin to write on before attaching to the flower label.

And voila – just like that, my chalkboard flower pot gifts are complete and ready for dispatch tomorrow. I’ve got them soaking in a few mils of water to keep them from drying out (as per the label) and will transport them to daycare in the morning.
I really hope her teachers like them.

(click to enlarge image)

3 Pots, 3 lots of flowers, paint brushes, 250ml tin of black chalkboard paint, 250ml of yellow paint and pot sealer, all up $63.45. Approx $21.15 per gift per person. Worked out nicely.

Merry Christmas and farewell daycare. It’s been a wonderful journey and while I may not yet be

ready for the next chapter of our lives, it’s happening whether I like it or not.

Much Love

 

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Poached Chicken with Grilled Asparagus and Satay Prawns

Makes 1 serve
Total Prep & Cooking Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients
(can be modified to larger quantities for more servings)

1 Chicken Breast, sliced in half lengthways (so it’s not so fat)
4 Fresh Asparagus Spears
Approx 12 Prawns, cooked and peeled (if you’re lazy like me)
2 Teaspoons Peanut Butter (smooth or crunchy, whatever you prefer)
1-2 cloves garlic finely chopped (or squeeze some blobs out of those fresh herb tubes)
Fresh lemon juice
2 Cups Chicken Stock
2 Cups Water
Olive Oil
3 Teaspoons Thyme
Salt & Pepper to taste
Bearnaise Sauce

Method

Mix peanut butter, 2 teaspoons olive oil, a squeeze of lemon juice and ¼ of the garlic in a small bowl. Add prawns and mix till coated. Cover and refrigerate.

Prepare 1 teaspoon olive oil, 1 teaspoon of thyme and 1 teaspoon of the stock liquid in a small bowl and set aside. Preheat grill.

Combine stock, water, thyme, S&P and the rest of the garlic in a sauce pan. Bring to the boil. Add chicken, return to the boil.

Reduce to low heat and simmer, covered, for 15 minutes.

Remove from heat. Stand chicken in liquid for 5 minutes. During this time, evenly spread chilled prawns on a sheet of baking paper in one side of the grill. Place asparagus on grill tray in the other side. Lightly brush asparagus with oil and thyme liquid.

Grill for 5 minutes – turning each item halfway through.

Drain chicken, spread with a thin layer of béarnaise sauce.

Layer with asparagus and prawns and serve.

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TESTING

Just checking something out...

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The Modern Child. It's Really OK!

You know, it is really starting to get quite old, all this anti-technology/anti-internet hate hype that is constantly circulating around…funnily enough, the internet, when it comes to “new age children”.

There’s an array of pictures, memes, instagrams, tweets etc that all follow the same kind of mantra.

“Kids today are all loaded with iPhones and iPods and iPads etc. When I was a child, all I had to play with was some chalk and a skipping rope outside in the fresh air!”

Well woop-de fucking doo!

When our parents were children, they didn’t even have chalk! They just stole some coals from the bottom of their fire place to draw their hopscotch markings out in the street. But you didn’t see them complaining about our coloured chalk.

Images of children playing with game consoles versus images of children holding birds. With slogans about how kids these days are messed up and should spend more time outside in nature.

What an absolute crock. This kind of absent minded, negative attitude is what will be sheltering your children from an added learning source that their peers will already be well advanced in by the time they hit primary school!

My child has an iPhone, which she uses as an iPod. I hooked it up to our wifi connection, installed a handful of educational games, and a few non educational games and she uses it when she feels like it.
She also has coloured chalk and a skipping rope. And believe it or not, she still plays with both.

At some stage throughout an average weekend, she might chose to sit in a quiet spot, grab her iPhone and start playing some of her games. 20 minutes later, she is outside in the back yard, IN THE FRESH AIR, WRITING HER OWN NAME in coloured chalk on the concrete. She has only just turned four.

On other days, she might go into her room, switch on her iPhone’s music playlist and blast Katy Perry from the speakers as she sings in front of the mirror. And she knows every word.
When she’s finished this, she will set up a picnic blanket under a shady tree in the back yard, IN THE FRESH AIR, and have story time with me as I read to her. The books we borrowed from the library. Each week she memorises at least one book, so that she can “read” them to me.

Another time will see her playing her dentist game on her iPhone, she says she wants to be a dentist when she grows up. Then moments later, when she’s done playing dentist, we will sit and practice her sign language. She can sign the alphabet. She can sign her own name.

At times she sits and opens her numbers app on her iPhone. 1 + 1 is 2. 1 + 2 is 3. And so on and so forth.
After she’s had enough phone time, we discuss, using parts of our lunch, the way mathematics works. She demonstrates the equations she has just learnt on her phone, using grapes and shows me, that 1 grape plus another 1 grape, does in fact, equal 2 grapes.

“Look mummy, I learned something. I love learning.”

Wow… yeah… I totally see how her owning an iPhone, or to be more specific, using my old iPhone as an iPod, has totally messed her up. She really should go back to the stone ages and just play with chalk and stones and pebbles like they did way back before technology, when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Technology is the way of the future. Whether you want to admit to it or not, it’s here to stay and the best thing you can do for your growing child, is educate them on the advances of technology.

Just because modern children of todays world are using iPhones/iPods/iPads as part of their growing and learning activities, doesn’t mean they are worse off than our generation or our predecessors. It simply means they are moving forward with the rest of the world.

So long as you continually educate your child in all aspects of the technological world, on an age appropriate scale, then their use of such gadgets and resources gives them a greater ability than we had growing up. They can start learning more and more at a younger age.

Keeping in mind as they become older children, young teens etc, it is of the utmost importance to educate them on the dangers of the internet and how to be smart with the device that’s at their very fingertips, but that is something that every parent will need to do at some stage throughout their lives. Regardless of whether or not their young children learnt to use an iPod as a toddler.

A child using an iPad or other such device doesn’t make them lazy, or stupid, or missing out or whatever it is that is implied with all these anti-device bandwagons.
It doesn’t mean that they don’t still read books.
It doesn’t mean that they don’t still play outside.
It doesn’t mean that they don’t still use interpretive play with their peers/siblings/family.
These devices don’t replace everything else the child has and plays with. These devices join the child’s collection of toys and learning activities.

We are so lucky that our children have this opportunity. They have a world of knowledge at their fingertips. With the right guidance from their parents/guardians, they can learn great things.
They can achieve greatness.

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Dear Mum...

**I had seen snippets of this floating around facebook recently and refused to read it because I thought it was going to be something else. Tonight, I gave in and read it. I am so glad I did. Every mother needs to read this. Every time I have "one of those moments", I will remember this and breathe and hopefully feel better**

Dear Mum,

I've seen you around. I've seen you screaming at your kids in public, I've seen you ignoring them at the playground, I've seen you unshowered and wearing last night's pajama pants at preschool drop-off. I've seen you begging your children, bribing them, threatening them. I've seen you shouting back and fort...h with your husband, with your mum, with the police officer at the crosswalk.

I've seen you running around with your kids, getting dirty and occasionally swearing audibly when you bang a knee. I've seen you sharing a milkshake with a manic 4-year-old. I've seen you wiping your kids' boogers with your bare palm, and then smearing them on the back of your jeans. I've seen you carry your toddler flopped over the crook of your arm while chasing a runaway ball.

I've also seen you gritting your teeth while your kid screamed at you for making him practice piano, or soccer, or basket weaving or whatever it was. I've seen you close your eyes and breathe slowly after finding a gallon of milk dumped into your trunk. I've seen you crying into the sink while you desperately scrub crayon off your best designer purse. I've seen you pacing in front of the house.

I've seen you at the hospital waiting room. I've seen you at the pharmacy counter. I've seen you looking tired and frightened.

I've seen a lot of you, actually.

I see you every single day.

I don't know if you planned to be a parent or not. If you always knew from your earliest years that you wanted to bring children into the world, to tend to them, or if motherhood was thrust upon you unexpectedly. I don't know if it meets your expectations, or if you spent your first days as a mum terrified that you would never feel what you imagined "motherly love" would feel like for your child. I don't know if you struggled with infertility, or with pregnancy loss, or with a traumatic birth. I don't know if you created your child with your body, or created your family by welcoming your child into it.

But I know a lot about you.

I know that you didn't get everything that you wanted. I know that you got a wealth of things you never knew you wanted until they were there in front of you. I know that you don't believe that you're doing your best, that you think you can do better. I know you are doing better than you think.

I know that when you look at your child, your children, you see yourself. And I know that you don't, that you see a stranger who can't understand why the small details of childhood that were so important to you are a bother to this small person who resembles you.

I know that you want to throw a lamp at your teenager's head sometimes. I know you want to toss your 3-year-old out the window once in a while.

I know that some nights, once it's finally quiet, you curl up in bed and cry. I know that sometimes, you don't, even though you wanted to.

I know that some days are so hard that all you want is for them to end, and then at bedtime your children hug you and kiss you and tell you how much they love you and want to be like you, and you wish the day could last forever.

But it never does. The day always ends, and the next day brings new challenges. Fevers, heartbreak, art projects, new friends, new pets, new fights. And every day you do what you need to do.

You take care of things, because that's your job. You go to work, or you fill up the crock pot, or you climb into the garden, or strap the baby to your back and pull out the vacuum cleaner.

You drop everything you're doing to moderate an argument over whose turn it is to use a specifically colored marker, or to kiss a boo-boo, or to have a conversation about what kind of lipstick Pinocchio's Mummy wears.

I know that you have tickle fights in blanket forts, and that you have the words to at least eight different picture books memorized. I've heard that you dance like a wild woman when it's just you and them. That you have no shame about farting or belching in their presence, that you make up goofy songs about peas and potatoes and cheese.

I know that an hour past bedtime, you drop what you're doing and trim the fingernail that your 3-year-old insists is keeping her up. I know that you stop cleaning dishes because your kids insist you need to join their tea party. I know you fed your kids PB&J for four days straight when you had the flu. I know that you eat leftover crusts over the sink while your kids watch "Sponge Bob."

I know you didn't expect most of this. I know you didn't anticipate loving somebody so intensely, or loathing your post-baby body so much, or being so tired or being the mum you've turned out to be.

You thought you had it figured out. Or you were blind and terrified. You hired the perfect nanny. Or you quit your job and learned to assemble flat-packed baby furniture. You get confused by the conflict of feeling like nothing has changed since you were free and unfettered by children, and looking back on the choices you made as though an impostor was wearing your skin.

You're not a perfect mum. No matter how you try, no matter what you do. You will never be a perfect mum.

And maybe that haunts you. Or maybe you've made peace with it. Or maybe it was never a problem to begin with.

No matter how much you do, there is always more. No matter how little you do, when the day is over, your children are still loved. They still smile at you, believing you have magical powers to fix almost anything. No matter what happened at work, or at school, or in playgroup, you have still done everything in your power to ensure that the next morning will dawn and your children will be as happy, healthy, and wise as could possibly be hoped.

There's an old Yiddish saying: "There is one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it."

Unfortunately, there are no perfect parents. Your kids will grow up determined to be different than you. They will grow up certain that they won't make their kids take piano lessons, or they'll be more lenient, or more strict, or have more kids, or have fewer, or have none at all.

No matter how far from perfect you are, you are better than you think.

Someday your kids will be running around like crazy people at synagogue and concuss themselves on a hand rail, and somebody will still walk up to you and tell you what a beautiful family you have. You'll be at the park and your kids will be covered in mud and jam up to the elbows, smearing your car with sugary cement, and a pregnant lady will stop and smile at you wistfully.

No matter how many doubts you might have, you never need doubt this one thing: You are not perfect.

And that's good. Because really, neither is your child. And that means nobody can care for them the way you can, with the wealth of your understanding and your experience. Nobody knows what your child's squall means, or what their jokes mean, or why they are crying better than you do.

And since no mother is perfect, chances are you are caught in a two billion way tie for
Best Mum in the World.

Congratulations, Best Mum in the World. You're not perfect.
You are as good as anybody can get.

 

 

**I did not write this, nor do I own copyrights to it. Simply sharing because I love it and think every mother should read it**

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If my life had a sountrack...

...Then this would be my song for 2012.

It is the hardest story I've ever told...and I haven't even told it yet.

 

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love [repeat]

I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending. 

 

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The Other Side

It's like I was almost an adult.

Like, I had an apartment, and a job, and a child, and a fiancé.
I was living this textbook life of what it all should be.
And then, one day, I dunno, it's as though I...woke up.

And everything was different.
The same but, different.

And I'm not an adult.
Yet I walk around this place, this "my apartment" and I feel like an intruder. Like I shouldn't be here.
Like I'm on the other side of the looking glass.
In someone else's life.
And it's so hard to breathe sometimes.

But I'll be home soon. Back to my life.

 It will be different than before.
 Different but, the same.

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Christmas Brings Out The Best in People

Wondering whether or not to put up your Christmas tree yet? I say DO IT!!!  Why should we only have one month to look at our beautiful trees and decorations! I absolutely LOVE sitting by my pretty sparkly twinkly fairy lights on the Christmas tree as I unwind for the night, snuggle Muffin before bedtime, or have my early morning coffee in the wee hours of the day when it's still darkish! I'm not religious or very Christmasey...to be honest, I'm quite the Scrooge, but there is something about those beautiful lights and warm decorations that gives off a sense of love and warmth. Knowing, and actually feeling the joy it brings the little people in the world, remembering the magic of believing and the joys of my own childhood and Christmas memories...to hell with this 1st of December - 1st January rubbish! I don't know about others, but I like to savor these feelings and emotions and memories.  So I'll put my tree up proudly as early as I want and I'll procrastinate to take it down for as long as I want. Because the magic of Christmas can bring out the best in people and brighten others from the inside when they really need it the most!

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If you only knew...

I constantly feel like I can't breathe. 

I feel like I'm not strong enough to deal with this. 

It hurts so bad. 

My heart aches. 

I feel like I'm sinking. 

Every day is a cry for help. 
But no one can hear me. 
No one can see my tears. 

No one can see the pain in my eyes, my heart on my sleeve. 

My breath becomes shorter. 

I'm fading away. 

I'm broken. 


.

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MarshNachos

Alrighty....Further to my previous blog entry, about nachos of a different kind, I am pleased to report that I have infact made them.

These were my ingredients:

Plain crisps
Marshmallows
M&M's
Whipped Cream
Chocolate Mousse

And here is the final result:

THEY WERE FREAKING DELICIOUS!!

See the video footage HERE!!

Over all, the taste was delicious.

I think perhaps, I should have either made a smaller serving for just the two of us, or perhaps invited another 6 people over to try it.

After a while, it was rather sickening, even for me, so no, we did not eat it all. Shame about the waste - I hate wasting food!

The M&M's when cooked, developed a rather scrumptious nutty taste to them and upon entry in your mouth, had a little chocolatey explosion right on your tongue - a must-do experience for all chocolate lovers.

There were concerns about whether or not the chips would go a bit funky, and perhaps "over cooked" but they stayed pretty much exactly as they were, there was no real change to their taste or texture. Their salty, savouryness mixed very well with the sweetness of the marshies and M&Ms.
As a fan of the sweet/savoury combination, I was very pleased with this result.

I would perhaps trial the smaller style marshmallows next time, as the large ones I used became extremely gooey and sticky, but it did make it a very fun dish overall.

Anyway, I highly recommend giving it a try, if you're game enough, and if you do, please let me know how you go and if you make any adaptations, also let me know as Id be interested as to other ways people are enjoying their nachos....of a different kind.

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Nachos Anyone?

I want to make nachos......of a different kind.

I just had some weird ass visualisation of a savoury/sweet alternative to nachos...

Instead of corn chips  →  potato chips (like plain crisps - or possibly kettle for extra crunch)

Instead of beef  →  marshmallows (pink AND white...cause I'm such a rebel)

Instead of beans  →  M&M's (as much as I love peanut m&m's, I'd suggest just sticking to plain for this recipe)

Instead of guacamole  →  caramel sauce (though I'm not sure if I'm 100% about this alternative and am open to suggestions)

Instead of sour cream  →  whipped cream (the spray-out-of-a-can kind, cause it's the best)

On an oven-proof tray, layer the crisps, then layer the marshmallows and sprinkle with m&m's.

Place tray in a pre-heated oven (about 150) and bake for 10-15 minutes (keep an eye on your melting marshmallows -  as a result, time may vary. Just use common sense).

Allow to cool slightly before serving with whipped cream and caramel sauce.

(FTR: I have not yet attempted this....but when I do, I will be sure to update)

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