So last night was interesting, she woke up just after 2 am crying and normally I leave her to go for a bit before deciding what to do and normally she is back to sleep within 2-3 minutes. However, last night she went a bit longer and having Mr.J home while he's on a weeks holiday from work means he can't handle the sound and wants me to go settle her.
So we argued for a bit because really, he's got a week off work (his second of 2!) and I still had to get up for work at 6am today. Anywho, of course I got up. So I threw some choice expletives in his direction and stormed off.
When I got to Muffin, she was standing up in her cot so I picked her up and thought I'd just try and cuddle her back to sleep in my arms. She hasn’t woken in the night in months so to be perfectly honest, I had no fucking idea what I was doing.
Anywho, she kept pointing to her door so I walked there, she reached out and opened it and pointed out to the hallway. So I stepped out there and asked her if she wanted some milk? She said no and pointed up the hallway. I walked up there and asked "now what?" and she pointed to my room. So off we went.
I was terrified because last time we co slept was back during the rough patch we went through where she would cry and co sleep all night but only want to breastfeed and play all night. I do not want to go back there again!
But I was tired and probably a little extra emotional due to weaning so I hopped into bed with her.
When she asked for boobie I said no and told her we can just have cuddles. For some of the night, she laid there talking to herself but for the most part she slept on me. Man, when did my child get so bloody heavy?!
When my alarm went off at 6am this morning, she was still asleep. I tried to wake her and offer a quick boobie feed but she got cranky and rejected (figures, since I woke her up lol) and she just rolled over and went back to sleep. So for the first day in almost 20 months, we started our day with no breastfeed :(
During the afternoon after work, she only asked for it once. And when I offered her milk instead she was totally fine with it and never asked for it again.
Just now as I was putting her to sleep, she fell asleep during her bottle. Didn't even finish it. And didn't roll over for boobie.
I'm heartbroken.
Even though I know this is great progress for our weaning journey, it's the first day in almost 20 months that we haven't had at least one breastfeed.
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| My First Mothers Day - 2010. 4 months old |
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